WELL

I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE A FORGIVING BITCH. I'm sorry I can't move on because I am such a pathetic loser. I'm sorry I can't do this. I'm sorry I kept saying I could BECAUSE I HAD TO FUCKING FOOL MYSELF BEFORE I COULD FOOL ANYONE ELSE. I'm sorry I don't have the strength to watch this happen to myself. I'm sorry my life's been so miserable before and this is just adding salt to the wound. I'm sorry I wanna do this alone because I don't want you.

I'M SORRY I AM SO FUCKING SENSITIVE I'M SORRY I ACT LIKE I CAN HANDLE THIS WHEN I CAN'T I'M SORRY I'M SO FUCKING FAKE I'M SORRY I MAKE THINGS TO DIFFICULT WHEN I TRY TO MAKE IT EASIER I'M SORRY I CAN'T LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE I'M SORRY I CRY MYSELF EVERY FUCKING NIGHT TO SLEEP I'M SORRY I CAN'T JUST SHUT UP AND KILL MYSELF.

I'M SORRY THAT I'M SUCH A PATHETIC LOSER TO BE STILL AWAKE AT 12 AM CRYING MY EYES OUT. I'M SORRY THAT I'M CURRENTLY WISHING FOR ALL THE GUTS IN THE WORLD TO JUMP OUT OF MY 10TH STORY WINDOW. I'M SORRY THAT I'M JUST FULL OF FUCKING SELF-PITY THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET RID OFF. I'M SORRY I WAS SUCH A THORN IN YOUR SIDE, I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.


I'M SORRY TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO LOVE ME FOR GOD-KNOWS-WHY FOR BEING SUCH AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN.

I'M SORRY THAT THINGS COULDN'T WORK OUT EVEN THOUGH I TRIED TO FOOL MYSELF INTO BELIEVING THAT THEY COULD. I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO USELESS AS I WATCHED EVERYTHING WE'VE BUILT TOGETHER FALL APART.

I'M SORRY I DON'T SHARE THINGS BECAUSE I CAN'T EASILY TRUST PEOPLE ANYMORE I'M SORRY I'M SO DIFFICULT TO GET TO I'M SORRY I CAN'T GET BY JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE CAME MY WAY I'M SORRY I WON'T LET YOU IN I'M SORRY THINGS HAVE CHANGED

I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

OK NOW FUCK LIFE

Ok, I know I've been blogging way too much, especially since I have exams coming in October.
BUT! I felt the sudden need to tell EVERYONE I truly truly love a few things.
I felt that I really needed to let them know what I have to say.

And I know it's real weird to say these important things here, where it may seem impersonal.
But I know that I would have a hard time trying to get my words right if i say it to you in person, so, here it goes.

(WARNING! SUPERRRRR LONG ENTRY AHEAD! you've been warned!)

To my older sister, Kim:

I know you're probably going to be surprised at what I have to say, since all we ever seem to do is fight. But you must know that, though all the shit we do to each other, or the bitching and name-calling, I really do love you so very much, though I don't show it AT ALL.
Please forgive me for all the times I said I hated you and you were the worst person to be related with, anger does do silly things to my brain.
I hope you know that I never mean whatever I say to you, and on the contrary, you are the BEST sister in the world.
You're always there when I'm in trouble, when I need a cigarette or when I need a shopping date. I probably don't deserve a sis like you. I LOVE YOU <3

To Bird:

Hey there yellow munchkin! I have no idea why we call you a munchkin, since you're like taller than all of us =(
Anyway, a huge THANK YOU for being someone whom I can always laugh and spaz with. You always knew how to make me laugh, and how not to disturb me when I just wanna be alone.

You're like a big brother to me, though you're a girl, which makes it even better (=
Thank you for always looking out for me, for being protective over me even when I sometimes disapprove of the things you do. Haha =)
I want to thank you for all the things that you do for me, I know I probably don't deserve them. . If I could, I would take every hurt you'd had to endure and bring it upon myself. I love you sooooo much, bird. Very, very much.

To Jan:

Hey lover. You have no idea how lucky for a gal like me to have a friend like you. And I want to hurt myself every day when I see you cry or hurt or upset. You have done SO MUCH for me, and I wish I could somehow repay you back.
You love me even when I do SUPER unforgivable shit. You never critisized or judged me when I told you all the horrible things that I had done.
You were willing to stand through the storm with me. You never fail to make me smile and laugh, even when I'm depressed.
Your love, care, affection, and devotion will never cease to amaze me, and I want to thank you for that.

I rlly wanna punch all those bitches in your class that hurt you, you have NO IDEA how much I wanna do that. I wanna go up in their face and make them suffer.
They dont' even have a clue about the person you are.
You're so amazing, and you don't deserve anything but the best in life.
You shldn't have FUCKERS for classmates, you shldn't even have ANY reason to look down on yourself!
I wish that I could make every hurt go away, to give you a hug right there in your class when no one's with you.
I love you so much, J. Can you understand that? I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.

To Rens:

Hey darling, my super cool hottie! I feel like giving you an endless amount of kisses! <3
Thank you for showing how much you love me every single day, especially the days where I'm a moody bitch.
Thank you for all the times you were there when I needed someone to talk to, to rant to...
Thank you for accepting me for who I am, and for making me feel like I didn't need to be anyone else other than myself. You made me feel so special every single day.

I rlly want slice that guy's dick into pieces. He shld be sent to the darkest corners of HELL for treating you like that. I get so pissed whenever I think about him, and I feel driven to go to his house and beat the shit out of him.
You deserve so much better, my love. Someone like you should be treated with love and respect, and you shldn't waste yr time with a jerk as him.
You're so incredible, I don't know if anyone could ever be good enough for you.
I fucking love you, y'know? I'd do anything for you.

To Kelly:

MY LOVELIEST TWIN! Where do I start?
Thanks soooooo much for the being the sweetest, awesome-nest twin ever! You're soo fun to hang out with, just seeing you makes my day! I love being super girly and bimbo with you.
And, I love it how you're always able to know how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I love how you always try to persuade me to look at the brighter side of life, and how you're always there to give me a hug when I'm down.
I love how you're always so understanding and accepting, never judging me for my unruly ways.

I love how you love, most of all.
And I wish your parents could see the Kel that I see every single day.
They shld know how BLOODY FORTUNATE they are to have a daughter like you, and I wish I could just open their eyes and make them see.
You're so unbelievably incredible! I love you soooooo much, love. I'd kill myself for you.

To Sam:

Hey SAMMIEH! Y'know, you've always been that sorta-quiet friend, though you're not really quiet in actual fact.
Thank you for being my mentor, my teacher, someone I truly aspire to be. I love how you're able to calmly take fucked-up matters into your own hands and fix them with no distractions. I love how you're always so sensitive to me, kinda like a boyfriend ;)

I feel so damn lucky to have someone as special as you. You're always sooooo fucking sweet to me, and you still are. I love how you forgive so easily, even when I sometimes don't agree with forgiving some people who hurt you so bad.
I love how you're always cracking lame jokes that send me into hysterics.
I love how your temper can match mine, even though it's rare. Maybe that's not a good thing, but you always somehow made me feel normal, like I'm not over-reacting.

I love you damn fucking much. Always and forever =)


Well, that's all that I wanted to say.
Thank you once again to everyone, who has done sooo many wonderful things to me that it may take CENTURIES to write.
I rlly appreciate all of you.

Xoxo,
Kriss.

1.The person who tagged you is?
JANNIICCEEE!! ;D

2.Your relationship with him/her?
SHE'S MY LOVERRRR!

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her are:
Loving, affectionate, understanding, fun, AWESOME!

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you.
She brought me soup to my house yesterday cause' I was sick!
SUCH A SWEET THING I TELL YOU! ;D

5.The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
I can't rmb each word but she told me that she loved me and that she always would, no matter what unforgivable shit i do. -cries-

6.If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
I will be very fortunate to have someone like her! (:

7.If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
She spoils me too much, I think.

8.If he/she become your enemy, you will?
THAT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN AND I REFUSE TO THINK ABOUT SUCH THINGS! GO AWAY.

9. (Repeated Question)

10.What is it you want to tell for him/her now?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU sooo very much. And I wish that you wouldn't look down on yourself, because you don't know how amazing you are =)

11.Your overall impression of him/her is?
Wonderful.

12.How do u think ppl will feel around you?
Haha, I hope they would think I'm the baddest girl around.

13.The characters you love of yourself are?
I'm comfortable in my own skin, I don't wish to be anyone else.

14.On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
UGH, too many.

15.The most ideal person you want to be is?
me =)

16.For people that care and likes you, say something to them.
i love you guys too!

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.

1) Kelly!
2) Bird!
3) Rens!
4) Sam
5) Vivien
6) June
7) Marcus!
8) Daryl
9) Li yuan
10) Rachel

18. Who is no. 6 having a relationship with? -June
Someone I cannot mention! ;)

19. Is no. 9 a male or female? -Li yuan
Female!

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? [Marcus and Rachel]
That will be quite disturbing! But I guess I would be able to get used to it...eventually..

21. What is no. 6 studying about? -June
The subjects that a smarty pants like her would study.

22. What was the last time you had a chat with no. 3? -Rens
This morning!

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like? -Daryl
Guns n' Roses, Coldplay, U2.

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings? -Kelly
Yes, a younger sister!

25. Will you woo no. 3? -Rens
Of course!

26. How about 7? -Marcus
NO! HE'LL JUST FREAK OUT I SWEAR!

27. Is no. 4 single? -Sam
Nooooope =)

28. What is the surname of no. 5? -Viven
Choo!

29. What is a hobby of no. 10? -Rachel
Reading, she's a bookworm!

30. Do no. 5 and 9 get along well? -Viven and Li yuan.
They've never met.

31. Where is no. 2 studying at? -Bird
Home schooled. (COOLEST THING EVER!!!)

32. Talk about something for no. 1 -Bird
She loves freaking people out. And wooing hot gals.

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 8? -Daryl
WHY IS IT ALWAYS DARYL HAHA. Noooooo!

34. Where does no. 9 live? -Li yuan
Bishan.

35. What colours do no. 4 like? (Sam)
White, orange, red.

36. Are no. 1 and 5 best friends? -Kelly and Vivien.
Nah, they don't know each other.

37. Does no. 1 have any pets? -Bird
Fishies.

38. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world? -Marcus
HAHAHAH X 59394968 well, that is an interesting question! Are you, Marc?

39. What is no. 10 doing now? -Rachel
I dunno, reading?

-END-

And my god, my mom can be annoying!
When she looked over at my laptop I instinctively turned it away.
I mean, it's not that I have anything to hide, it's just weird for your mom to see you blogging, right?

Then she was like, "Why are you turning the screen away?"
And she asked it as if i was trying to hide smth from her.
Whatever la srsly.


Ok, I'm done!
NIGHT WWB! =)

I NOW HAVE BANGS! :B

This is Vivien and I.
Hehe :}

I'm srsly missing the girlies!
Everyone's been super busy with studies lately. :{
Saddddd. Exams really suck big time!

I just got a message from Jan, and she didn't go to school today too!
Hehe so I'm gna drop by her house later to hang out and maybe study a lil'.
xD i miss her so much :}

Oh, there's smth that's been bugging me like fuck lately.
Have I mentioned my intense hatred for attention whores?
Yea, they're the most annoying creatures on earth.
This gal, let's just call her D, loves the spotlight.
Always doing ANYTHING for attention, even degrade herself!

I mean, c'mon, why would you wanna degrade yrself just for attention?
She doesn't even think about what people may think of her.
I bet she just goes into uncontrollable spasms if the spotlight isn't on her.
I wonder if she knows that no one likes her.

OOOOOOOOH!
Check out this hottie :




ASHTON KUTCHER IS SOOOO HOT!
God.
D'you know he used to be a model?
Hotness!

Just call me Mrs Kutcher, ya'll! :}




You're the missing piece I need,
the song inside of me.

YAYYYYYYYYYYY ;D

OMG OMG OMGGGGGG!
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT MY MOM SAID TO ME!
Check out the convo that tooks place a few minutes ago.

Mom: "Hmmmm, I think I will give you a reward."

Me: "Huh? Reward for what?"

Mom: "Reward for if you do well in your exams!"

Me: "Ooooh! What kind of reward?"

Mom: "I'll think I'll get you that iTouch phone..."

OMG YAYNESS!!!
Hahaha I'm actually squealing right now! Hehe.
But my mommy's expectations are damn high!

Me: "-after i was done squealing- Eh, how well must I do?"

Mom: "Hmm... depends. I'll decide when I see it."

Me: "But I must have some personal goal what!"

Mom: "Then just get an A2 for most or all the subjects, lor! That's the safest.-chuckles-"

WHATTT A2 FOR ALL SUBJECTS???!!
I CAN BEARLY MANAGE A STANDARD B3!
Okay, I MUST MUST MUST do well!
I am sooo close to having the FABULOUS iTouch phoneeee!
Hehehe ;D

I AM NOW ADDICTED TO TWILIGHT.

thanks a lot ah, Renee and Jan!
Now i can't stop reading it!
Damnit, the attraction between Edward and Bella is sooo breathtaking.

And what Jan said was right!
After reading the book, girls like me can't help but long for someone beautiful like Edward.

By the way, the actor playing Edward is HAWT!
I actually did a bit of research on the casting, when news about a Twilight Movie first came out.
Apparently, there were some who said the world was "outraged" by the casting of Edward!
C'mon, he's sooooooooo good-looking!
I'm sure at least 75% of Twilighters love the guy playing Edward.
Handsome, sia! ^^



SO SEXY!!

The movie has made me even MORE addicted.
AND BELLA IS....SO AVERAGE LOOKING!
So unfair! :*(

Oh, apparently Jan has called dibs on him already,
so I cannot claim him for my own!
Darn it.